What if?

Dad's no longer young. Mum's not looking that good either.
The year 2007..which means, As I am growing older, they are growing older too.

Dad's health isn't that good from the start. Mum's not good either.
Bro is not helping at all, giving them and me all sorts of headaches.
I swear, I might even die of heart failure one day, if I can't take it anymore.

Once, a friend told me, "You want to know what's loneliness? You sit down alone, at night and you hear the silence, and there's no one there for you, that's loneliness"

I chuckled at the line she told me. Is that loneliness?
My definition of loneliness is when MP decided to leave me. That was not only loneliness, there was pain too.

With no one at home since the school has resumed, I sat on my bed each morning, listening to the sounds of silence.
It's scary., really.
How can being lonely, be such a scary thing?
How can someone even love to be alone?
Why would you wanna be alone in the first place?!

What if One day, my parents leave?
They aged, and God decided to take them away.
Who would be left in this world with me?
My brother?
And then what do we do?

I am scared. I am scared.
I am already scared in my thoughts. I can't deal with it if it really happens.

Selfish I may seem to sound, but I wished..I die before anyone does.
In that way, I don't have to deal with deaths, to deal with sudden good-byes.
My heart can't take it anymore.Not since the ugly breakup.

I am scared.