Dad's birthday dinner (2007)

Dad's birthday falls on the 1st of February.

So, since this year's birthday happens to fall on a Thursday, plus it so happens that it's a Public Holiday today, because it's ThaiPussam, I've decided to go home, and have a nice family cum birthday dinner.

I am glad that at this age, I am still able to celebrate Dad's birthday together with the whole family around.
I know of many people, whom has lose their dads, due to illness, accidents and age..and I should probably count my blessings that my dad is still pretty much healthy now, despite his heart condition, and his body size.

I've always been pretty much attached to my dad.
They say, usually daughters are closer to their dads, and sons to their mums. This is probably due to the opposite sex attraction, well, I am not too sure about that.

I am not going to pretend that it was always easy-flowing with my dad.
When I was younger, we used to have alot of disagreements. He would always be the one who wants to sit down and reason it out, and I would always be the one who slams the door in the end.
However, our arguments never lasted long.
Because he's always the one who comes pujuk-ing me all the time, apologizing for being harsh on me (but in actual fact, I was the rebellious one!) and I always get to have sushi in the end. (because I love sushi ma!)

I can't tell you that my dad is the best in the world. Noo..that would totally offend alot of people then. But I can tell you that my dad is perhaps, ONE of the best in town.
Why do I say so?

My dad's someone who thinks of his family first.
Really.., when he went to KL to work when we were way younger, he would always purposely travel to and fro, every weekend, without fail, just to come home.
And when you think that after a long week of hard work in KL, he would probably enjoy resting at home and expect to be treated like king,..oh no!, he would always help out with housework, on top of that, bringing us around in Ipoh.


When we were not so well-off in the past, we didn't even have a washing machine at home.
Dad would always be the one who does the laundry, and how does he do that?
He would grab a stool, take a scrub, and actually sit down and scrub our clothes, and then wash them, and hang them.
He didn't allow us to help, the only thing I did was to collect the clothes in, and folded them.

Imagine lah!,..nowadays, where got men wanna help do housework one??..Even now, with washing machines, they are simply too ignorant to even toss them into the machine, and press a button.

Thank goodness for dad, I wasn't choosy in whatever I eat. Even for my brother too.
He's always bringing us to try new food, and even drive up all the way to Penang,just for lunch, or sometimes, all the way to Cameron Highlands, just for the vegetables.
Aah, a few times, we even drove all the way up to Genting Highlands, just to have dinner, because the fish there is fresh, and come back home.
Back to those days, when the times were hard, Dad didn't save on food. Whatever we wanted to eat, he would bring us and filled our tummies.

My dad only saved in material things.

Everytime when we needed something or we wanted something, all we had to do was to tell him.
Leave him a note.
He won't get those for us, but to encourage us to "earn" them.
We would do well, academically, and at the end, he would only give us as a reward.
See, he didn't really spoilt us in a way.

Whenever I need something, or whenever I have problems, I would always send him a text message.
And he would always reply them.
Now, tell me, how many dads out there, who knows how to send a text message, or even read them?.

Whose Daddy would actually let you express your anger, and then keeps quiet?

Whose Daddy would actually bring you for sushi even though it was your fault?

Sigh. Maybe we are spoilt a teeny weeny bit..but it's actually how he expresses his love to his children.

As I was saying, mum made reservations for 4, in East Ocean Restaurant at 8pm.
Upon arriving home, dad shouted,
"COME!COME!! LET'S GO EAT..GO EAT!!AND CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY!!!...COME!!I WANT BIG CAKES!!"

okayyyyy..so he's not old at all. He's still young at heart.
Phew! That's a relief.

We arrived on time, and sat down, waiting for our orders.
One thing good about this family is everytime there's a birthday in the family, we always eat, eat and eat good food.
Which explains why my diet never works, and why my dad's belly keeps growing each year.

I didn't manage to take pictures of all the dishes.
I did, however, took pictures of several ones.
The food was so delicious that I didn't wanna waste time taking pictures of them anymore.
I just wanna dig in, and EAT.

And I had my first "lou sang" of the year.
=)
It was nice. East Ocean's Restaurant "lou sang" is always good, and crunchy and their fruits are fresh. Not to forget, the salmon fish is fresh fresh fresh!! Yummy!!

And it was also my first time, eating a HUGE PRAWN.
We had a prawn each, and mind you, each prawn cost Dad RM40.
One prawn= RM40 weh.
RM40 means my one week allowance oi!
*sweat*

We initially wanted to take a formal family photo, but the 4 of us are quite busy at the moment.
Dad's with his new project, Mum's with her school work and district work, Bro's with his district competitions and me, with my series and blogpages..Haha, not really. I am just busy with my work lah!

So, the photoshoot was put off, and maybe during the holidays, we shall be taking it soon.

To sum this all up, I love my dad..and I am praying hard, that I can still celebrate his birthday together with the family for many many many many many years to come.
"Happy Birthday Dad!!"

and yes, of course, I love you. Even when I sometimes, have sudden mood swings, yet you know, I am a woman, and you know, I am like mum..I have PMS too..so, you aren't mad at mum, and you shouldn't be mad at me too.

You should be like a man, and understand me too!! okay?
(*psst..even when I ask for extra cash for shopping, you should also understand wert..when mum asked from you also, you didn't scold...right?)

Sigh.

Hahha, both my brother and I, like to pose the same way. I guess, that's how you identify us as sibblings!
Wakakakkaak...

Don't say I never do this, do that..

One for the record.

Don't say I didn't try,or didn't dare to, but it just doesn't seem right.
I don't know, maybe I don't look nice in it.

You can no longer say I didn't try, or I look like a guy, because maybe I am not the type for this.
Or am I still not ready for it?

On I look fat...or I am already fat...

Civilians reunited!

Well, first week of the semester is always laid back for most of the students here in the university.
Yeah, I mean..there'll only be lectures, and the first lectures would always be introduction to the respective courses, and also a warm welcome from the lecturers to us, the students.
It's only from Week 2 onwards, that the schedule would resumed to the right pace, and soon, the hectic word brings a whole new meaning to the dictionary. The labaratory and the tutorial sessions would begin in week 3, and you should probably be ready for your tests and assignments from week 4 onwards.
Aah, so where was I again? ooo...Week 1..

So, today's a thursday..and thursday is probably the busiest day of the week for Civil students, July 05 batch. Or maybe it's only my schedule..Due to the fact that I have 4 hours of lecture and 2 hours of lab session, so Thursday has always been my busiest day of the week. So like last sem's.

Anyway, we had a lot of freetime today, while waiting for the next class to begin, the 4 of us, meaning ShiouTing, KeeHui, TeeHooi and I, even went to the clinic together, to see the doctor. Well, it was actually me who wanted to see the doctor,..or well, they asked me to..I had a hard time, taking in lunch because the cough was forcing the food to go out from my throat..Aaarrggh..So, 3 of them went into the clinic with me, while I went to see the doctor.
But that's not the point.
The whole day, we were bugging KeeHui to bring us for a treat tonight. And the place was "Indulgence". KeeHui even started to hate that word because it kinda freaks him out. =) Hehhe..so, imagine 3 girls kept pestering him to bring us for a treat, he belanja mar!
We had to kepung him and actually put him in an awkward position to bring us down to Ipoh.

Well, even when the 4 of us entered the bookshop, the bookshop man said that
"Well, look who's here. Charlie and his 3 little angels"

Hahha...So, during Geomatics today, which was the last class of the day, he agreed to go down to have fun in Ipoh, but no Indulgence. He said he wanted to eat something chinese instead. We agreed, since it was rather unreasonable for him to bring us to Indulgence, and we were only joking when we asked him to belanja.
So, the agreed dinner place was "nga choi kai".

We even pestered Joshua to come join us, and the 5 of us can have fun there, but he was just being responsible as he has a meeting later that night, so he had to take a rain check. But he seems interested in joining, and I kept asking him to push the meeting forward and cancel it. However, he said No. Well..we continued with our plan though, telling him that we shall be thinking of him even when we had the delicious piece of chicken trailing down our throats.
He had to settle for Nasi Goreng Ayam, UTP style!!

Unfortunately, we didn't go for "nga choi kai", but we went straight to Jusco.
We planned to catch a movie so it was better for us to reach Jusco and have dinner there.
Bought our tickets and went to Kenny Roger's.
No chinese style chicken, we went for western style instead.

Pictures were taken..Hahha..for the sake of my blogpage..
But we forgot to take a group picture..aaah!!! We were rushing for the movie at 9.20 pm.

(* we were all still in our clothes to classes from Morning. I wonder whether we smell)

Pathfinder - the movie we watched.

Gory. Scary. No story line at all. and it was not suitable for 20-year-olds with weak hearts.
The cinema was cold, and we were practically shivering inside..hoping for the movie to end as soon as possible.

We came out about 11.10 p.m, in time to catch the next movie at 11.20 p.m.
"Happy Birthday"
A love story, also not suitable for people with a weak heart, so we dismissed the thought.

Instead, we went for supper in tong sui kai.
Dessert was not nice tonight, luckily I ordered a bowl of red bean, which didn't cause much harm.

Had lotsa fun tonight, which kinda brings the problems away for a moment.
It was a pity that Joshua wasn't able to join us, and Harpreet..otherwise, it would be hysterical man.

I wonder when the next movie would be, and yes, Keehui, it would definitely be dinner in Indulgence. So start saving now!~

And so he told me..

He told me that he needed someone to talk to., and so, I was the ear he borrowed.

I understand the situation he's currently going through. I know this is the time, when he needs someone to listen to his rantings and mournings. The time when he can't be alone.

And how would I know?
I went through this dark zone once..before.

Looking at him, all I can say is, I see a mirror image of myself.
I can only look at him, with my sympathetic glances, but I know, whatever I said, it's not what he wants to listen. He doesn't need advices at the moment. He doesn't need another person that he's wrong. He doesn't need another person telling him what he should or should not do.
He knows what he wants, he just need another person to reaffirm his decision.

I shrugged a couple of times today.

I can only lend an ear. Nothing much.

If only I could practise what I preached.Wouldn't that be wonderful?
I sounded so convinving. I just couldn't convince myself.
That's like..whoa..

Well, we need more people like us. We are just stupidly Loyal.

Wished that it was the last.

Aww..

By the way, *changEewan..she texted me!!*
Yay!!

Things only the Tangs will do.

"So what do you wanna do today? You look...err..not fine.."- Dad
"I don't know..so much is in my mind today..and..i just don't know what to do about it..."- Me
"Is it what of your girly problems again?.." - Dad
"Uh...not really...Just don't know where to start.." - Me
"Hmmm....You want to do some driving?" - Dad
"Hmm..to where?" - Me
"...Let's go Penang?" - Dad
"I drive?.." - Me

Yes, don't be jealous or anything lah!..
Today's roadtrip is to Penang.
Whatever for?

I have so much things in mind, that I needed to clear it, before anything goes haywire inside me. It's actually normal for us to drive all the way down to Penang for lunch at times, or all the up to CameronHighlands just for dinner. Oh Yes..The Tang Family is weird in a very nice way.
I took Dad's car keys, yeap, the Pajero, and went to pick my grandparents up along the way. They were certainly glad that we were going on a roadtrip up north. Plus, their granddaughter is going back to campus tomorrow, so definitely have to enjoy to the maximum before being thrown to hell right?

We were absolutely clueless about where to go,what to do. All I did was picked them up, drove past the toll, and headed all the way to Penang. The day was clear and sunny, so it was perfectly fine for a road trip.
Drove about an hour plus, we finally reached Jawi. Ok, the usual plan,everytime we come down to Penang would be, Jawi --> Bukit Mertajam ---> Air Itam ---> Penang Road ---> Jawi ---> Home (Ipoh)

So, today's plans were also similar. (Coz that's the only route I know, and Dad's not into driving)

Jawi was the first stop. Being teochew nang, grandma and grandpa loves "chai kueh". A type of Kuih, wrapped with "kuchai" or "turnips", and then being steamed for some time before serving.

Sorry, I don't photoshop my pictures, so this is what you get.
This "chai kueh" is wrapped with "kuchai", which according to my grandpa, tastes better than the "chai kueh" wrapped with turnips.





After all the food we had, we then went to Bukit Mertajam to visit our ancestors in this hall, where all the ashes of the "TAN" family were put. There's this something like "hall of fame" gua..and we went to see 'them', and grandpa managed to catch up with one of the relatives there. So, a sudden visit can bring a lot of smiles eh?

Hung around for about half and hour, then we continued our little excursion.
Went out from Jawi to the highway, crossed the Penang Bridge, and into the city..
Next destination: Air Itam.

There's this place, where grandma and grandpa always visit everytime we go to Penang. They pray there, you know, they do their little stuffs there, praying, giving money for the oil, bless the whole family, burn some josssticks, and off we go again.

We went to Penang road, opposite Komtar, for some local delicacies.
Pictures taken after we finished the food. I only realised that I didn't take any pictures, so only managed to take after that. We had 3 bowls of laksa, 2 bowls of "kueh tiao theng", "lobak", 2 rolls of popiah, one plate of "char kuey teow" and 2 bowls of aiskacang.
And that's when we just wanted to fill our stomaches with something. Not even eating to be full.

Mum saw this shop selling 'bakwa' - dried meat, "Bee Cheng Hiang" or something like that, so we went.
She bought RM200 worth of meat, but absolutely delicious. The person who tended to us, said that the meat came all the way from Singapore, but I told her, the pigs all came from Malaysia. She kept insisting it's from Singapore, and I told her that Singapore don't have enough land to rare pigs, so the meat is from Malaysia actually. Yet, I know she's still unsatisfied with what I said, but who cares? I am the paying customer, I can say whatever I want. The meat is unreasonably priced.
600grams for RM62.90.
So maha expensive ok? Only people like mum would actually buy them. But honestly, compared to the ones in Ipoh, the meat taste absolutely nicer.=)

Drove around Gurney street, see whether there are any changes to it. Evergreen Laurel Hotel is still there, the last time I checked in was last year, and yes, they served nice buffet breakfast.=)
I always spend 2 hours there for breakfast, it's worth the pay.
Room's big, spacious and with nice sea-view.
You know, old people, they have to do some stretching after being crammed in the car for so long, so they took a slow stroll along the seaside.
The wind was blowing rather strongly, and the black clouds were already gathering. I foresee a long, rain coming up, so I gathered all the old people into the car, and drove off.










[Sempat cam-whore eh?]




The time was already 4.00pm then,we decided to head to the next destination. There were already drizzlings then. But I drove slowly, back to Jawi.
Yes, you guessed it right, for Food.

Reached Jawi about 45 minutes later. On the way, saw a CRV honda did a turtle on the highway, which kinda freaked my grandma out, and she kept asking me to drive slowly. It's either that, or Dad takes over the wheel. However, Dad doesn't want to do any driving, so Grandma had to settle down for me, and she made sure that I don't drove above 90 km/hr. So if you happened to use the Penang highway and you see a slow Pajero passing up, that was probably me, driving.

We were then at Cheong Kee's.
Aah, the must-stop destination everytime I come to Penang. Why?

Besides the fact, that the shop is dirty, and the people who served us speak languages that I do not understand, and they are rowdy, we always tend to go back.

+ =


"Bat Jao Yu" -Baby Octopus. Yeesan would absolutely love this man!!..They serve the best baby octopus, and it's nice to chew. Unlike the ones they have in Ipoh..so worth the drive man!!!..
And if you think that's what they serve, you are totally wrong..!!










I only know their names of dishes in Chinese. So, use your own imagination whatever the names of the dishes are.=)

Before we went home, we stopped by this back alley of a shop and bought some kuihs home. The journey back to Ipoh was abit dangerous due to the heavy rain, yet satisfying, with the food that I have consumed.

* Yes, I managed to text Vern telling her that I was in Penang and she replied by saying, "What are you doing in Penang, when the sem is about to start? I am on my way back to campus already."

Hahha, Vern is just pure jealous lah!

Words from my heart

Jesse Mccartney--Just So You Know

I shouldnt love you but I want to
I just cant turn away
I shouldnt see you but I cant move
I cant look away

I shouldnt love you but I want to
I just cant turn away
I shouldnt see you but I cant move
I cant look away

And I dont know how to be fine when Im not
Cause I dont know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus:]
Just so you know
This feelings taking control of me
And I cant help itI wont sit around, I cant let him win now
Thought you should know
Ive tried my best to let go of you
But I dont want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

Its getting hard to be around you
Theres so much I cant say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way

And I dont know how to be fine when Im not
Cause I dont know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus]

This emptiness is killing me
And Im wondering why Ive waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
Im waiting here...been waiting here

[Chorus]


Nice song, just the song I would compose to someone right now..Hahha..
I think I no longer have to listen to "Patience"-by Take That tonight, I have another great song to listen to now.
FA-LALALLALALALALA.....

New Found Friend. (Specially for you, WeiJin)

When words can't express how I am feeling right now, pictures can take over the job.
Though seem to know her for so many years, yet it's only these few days which I finally know the real her.

I will never forget the times we spent, texting one another, even talking about random stuffs.
Yes, and the nights when I waited for u in dreamland's entrance, but you kept "fong fei gei" on me..
=(

Realised that you changed quite a lot since the last encounter we had in Maziah.
From a quiet person, you have become more talkative and active. Not to forget, that your looks has changed too, to a better looking person. Hehhe.
So many things that I wished to tell you, but situations doesn't permit, and there are so many things to take into consideration.
After you returned to Melbourne, I hope we would be able to still keep in contact, though it's only a few days, since I know u, yet I kept wanting to know you more.=)
And don't forget my birthdate (103)
Do take good care of yourself, when you are abroad.

Signed, Khian.

When words fail..

2 months gone.
Almost nearing my new semester.
Just a blink of an eye, and it's time to pack my books, wake up in the early mornings, rush for my classes, come back to steal naps, and then struggle to the wee hours in the morning.
Aah, yes, that's normal for University students.
It's not all glam and name, it requires hard work.

2 whole months, I have been doing nothing useful and meaningful but use up all Daddy's money instead.
Not only I have not been working part time, or doing any meaningful readings, which I had planned early this holidays, I have been enjoying myself from the beginning to the very end.
Till the very last minute of holidays, I will still be in Ipoh.

And you would ask me, whether I regret my actions.
The time which I have let it flew past by, just by hanging around, doing nothing

at all..

I can tell you truthfully, apart from the pain of burning a hole in my wallet, I have no regrets at all.
During this holidays, I have been doing alot of thinking, and socializing.

Friends who went abroad, have came home for short breaks.
Friends who didn't come home, have surprisingly given me calls, telling me that they miss me and would hope to see me at their place soon.
Aah, means a few thousand gone for airtickets then.

Besides that, the numerous parties which I have attended.
The uncountable yumcha sessions which I was a part of. The frequent times to pasar malams at night.
The money which was gone for smsing and calling, just to meet up for a few hours.
And you ask me whether it was worth all the trouble and all?

The trip which was long planned by MeiLing and Mel, was finally succeeded. People whom we lose contact since SPM paper was taken, were seen in Cameron highlands.
People who are still taking their breaks from studies, were there too.

And also, the meet-ups I have with my tuition friends from other schools. The BBQ dinner and the yumcha sessions were great to begin with.
The awkwardness of not meeting up for such a long time, didn't exist.
We were all like the old times : Jokers.

Christmas and New Year.
Mentioned this so many times. The parties were great.
Family dinner during Christmas was the best ever, Dad sneaked in 2 bottles of wines, put them in Mum's huge handbag.
The sleepovers, during New Year's eve, when we spend the whole 24 hours, talking about heart-to-heart stuffs..when I finally knew a new friend: Jiang Mun.
Just barely know her, yet I told her my darkest secret, and was glad to be reciprocated with her trust in me.

Let's not forget the birthday party for Izzati at her place, with the usual great food that we eat every year without fail.
And the yumcha session after that with Maylee and her gang, whom I didn't meet for such a long time.
Just today, I met up with Wei Ai and Yen Yee, just for breakfast in Bercham.
Things you do, when you miss your friends, you drive all the way from Taman Shatin to Bercham, just to eat some crappy breakfast. However, the company was great.

Eewan a.k.a Heng Dai had her birthday celebration in Ipoh this year, when all of us were invited.
I am still glad that she called me, and I didn't rejected her invitation. Or else, I wouldn't have met new people whom I knew before, but didn't bother knowing them furthur.
Met new people like the Wei's sisters, Wee Ghee, Sze-En and a few other people.

Aah, and I shall never forget the parties with alcohol as part of it.
And I shall know which crowd to mix with next time.
There's this crowd which continues refilling to her own glass, and also those who kept pouring into your glasses..

The KL trip,where I spend a night in Foo's apartment with Jiang Mun and Mel.
I can never thank you enough for the hospitality, and the company.
Even meeting up with my long lost NS buddies was good to know.

60 Days, and so much has happened.
Recently, all the way from Subang, was Yiling, who came back to her hometown and we met up.

I can say that I miss all of you people out there, who made my 60 days in Ipoh, an interesting one.
When I thought that things are going to change when we are no longer in a same place, I was wrong.
The company couldn't be better.

And the frequent trips to Indulgence for cakes and the hours we spent there, just drinking Iced water.
The cam-whoring moments we shared..Priceless..=)

When shit happens..

When shit happens, you can either count on yourself to wake up, or to count on your friends to help you out.
Let's sink deeper into reality.

Scenario 1:
You go to your group of friends, you pour out your feelings, you cry, you sob, you drink, you become sober, you kept insisting that you wanna slit your wrist, you think the world is ending, you think the life you are leading is unfair, you want the world to stop moving, you want, everything your way..
and after all your rantings and moanings, you pause for a moment, waiting for your friends to say something.

Let me tell you something. Not all your friends are going to react the same way. Yes, of course, you hang out together, you clicked together but you certainly, are not the same person. You do not think alike.

Friend type 1 would probably react:
"What's the big fuss about?"
These are the type of people who doesn't bother what your problems are about. The only reason of their existance in your "group" of people is just to have fun. If you go beyond the fun line, they will probably back out, and go find some other fun people to hang out with.

Friend type 2 would probably react:
"Hmm..what happened? Tell me..tell..tell me lah..."
These are the type who also don't really care about how you feel, but what your problems are.
Nick name: "KEH POH CHI". They are not really concerned about you, but they just want to know what your problems are. You know why? So they can have something to talk about when they have nothing to talk about. These are the type who keeps the daily news running. Possible career to pursue : Reporters.

Friend type 3 would probably react:
"Hmm..why lah?? what happened??..are you ok?? nevermind la..this things happen..you know what, I used to have such problems, but this is how the way I solved it..(insert the kinds of solutions to your problems)"
These are the type whom you can call your best buds. They are always there for you, lending you their shoulders but some people might not like friends like those. Who are they to tell you what's best for you?

Friend type 4 would probably react:
"Aah. Shit happens. Wake up and be glad that it's over."
What is there for me to say more? Realistics.
They don't tell you anything more, they don't advise you what to do, but they make one comment. A sweeping statement, and that's enough for you to realise that it's not a big deal afterall, and trust me, you will be back to reality after.

I am not saying that it's right or wrong, with the way people react to certain kinds of situations. Like I have said, most people do not have the same wavelengths. They don't think coherently. They react to circumstances differently, from what they experienced and how they were brought up.

I personally like Friend Type 4.

Eewan's 20th Birthday party

I missed *YOU*
Just guess who, will ya?

Bummer

Maybe it is a sign.
A new year, a new beginning.
A new start, a new life.
A year to forget, A year to accept.
A year to let go, A year to feel free.

Excuse the drama.

My Internal Harddisk failed me 2 days ago, and I had to say goodbye to all my series and songs, and pictures, and yes, important documents.
I am in deep shit right now.

Yes, I know I am a total idiot for not backing up my system in the first place, but it wasn't me.
I kept putting the task off, which I didn't know that the Harddisk will fail me so soon.
Too late to regret now.
Remember the time I kept complaining that my computer lags, and the only reason why I didn't want to reformat it is because I want to keep all the things intact inside.?
Aah. I guess this makes the PARTING easier.
They just go, just like that.
I can't even say NO.

Daily updates available in http://www.tabulas.com/~khian.

What if?

Dad's no longer young. Mum's not looking that good either.
The year 2007..which means, As I am growing older, they are growing older too.

Dad's health isn't that good from the start. Mum's not good either.
Bro is not helping at all, giving them and me all sorts of headaches.
I swear, I might even die of heart failure one day, if I can't take it anymore.

Once, a friend told me, "You want to know what's loneliness? You sit down alone, at night and you hear the silence, and there's no one there for you, that's loneliness"

I chuckled at the line she told me. Is that loneliness?
My definition of loneliness is when MP decided to leave me. That was not only loneliness, there was pain too.

With no one at home since the school has resumed, I sat on my bed each morning, listening to the sounds of silence.
It's scary., really.
How can being lonely, be such a scary thing?
How can someone even love to be alone?
Why would you wanna be alone in the first place?!

What if One day, my parents leave?
They aged, and God decided to take them away.
Who would be left in this world with me?
My brother?
And then what do we do?

I am scared. I am scared.
I am already scared in my thoughts. I can't deal with it if it really happens.

Selfish I may seem to sound, but I wished..I die before anyone does.
In that way, I don't have to deal with deaths, to deal with sudden good-byes.
My heart can't take it anymore.Not since the ugly breakup.

I am scared.

New Year's Eve + New Year

Taking a break from the previous long wordy entry, this entry shall be mostly pictures.
Thanks to Jiang Mun for her pictures, since I was lazy to bring my camera along this time.

Pictures pretty much summed up about what happened actually. =)